Thursday, 26 February 2015

Zapaholic?


 
-zap-

With me it's a late night thing.

-zap-

A long time ago I gave up watching TV in the evenings...

-zap-

...at least on a regular basis.

At prime time there are so few programmes that interest me.

-zap-

The two main consequences of this are that the most productive part of my creative working day has shifted: I do most of my writing and drawing in the evenings...

-zap-

...and I seem to have relinquished all my rights to the remote control during peak viewing time.

-zap-

-zap-

-zap-

Though why I do it remains a mystery. A strange compulsion. I mean, I've already consulted the TV guide and established that there is not much for me in the way of education or entertainment. Even though my standards at this time of the night, after working all evening, are quite low.

-zap-

Do I somehow think that the TV companies will have changed or rearranged their schedules at the very last minute just to suit me?

-zap-

-zap-

Even I'm not that optimistic!

-zap-

Oh...and...by the way...we have cable TV with the minimum package, just 25 channels, so you'd think that I'd be zapped-out in no time...

-zap-

...not a bit... when I get to the end I zap right back again!

-zap-

Okay...eternally hopeful and lowering my standards yet another degree...let's try again...there must be something...

-zap-

What's this? Naked 'Celebrities' eating worms in the jungle? They must be really desperate...

for a career!

-zap-

Oh no ...yet another programme about sick people. I don't get this fascination with disease and injury on television. I mean, you wouldn't say to your family after Sunday lunch “ Come on, let's all go down to the local hospital and watch some people being seriously ill” would you? Or maybe YOU would?

-zap-

-zap-

Ah...this looks better...an old detective series. Em? Let's see..the body was found in a 10th floor apartment and the lift was out of order. They've arrested a lift engineer with a criminal record and a grudge against the victim...oh yes... and he had the murder weapon in his hand. So it's obvious...he didn't commit the murder. My bet is that it is either the young girl in a wheel chair with two broken arms and a cast iron alibi or an apparently irrelevant barman who appears too often and has too many lines for a bit part actor. Possibly they are in it together. ..damn...commercial break....

-zap-

...more commercials...

-zap-

...talk show repeat..

-zap-

-zap-

...hey...wait a minute... a film... and it's just started. It looks okay... I'll just get myself a beer and...

...OH NO!... IS THAT THE TIME!!!!!!!!

-click-


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