FAQ

From the archives:  first  appeared in 2010 later  published in the book 'Letters to Kyrgyzstan' 2013.

FAQ

It doesn’t take long. I’m at a party or reception and somebody I don’t know will discover that I am not Dutch.....and then the questioning begins. “Where do you come from?” “Oh -where in England?” “How long have you lived here?” “When, why, how did you come?”
“Do you prefer The Netherlands to England?” ”What do you miss?” “Is Dutch hard to learn?”
“What language do you think in?” “What language are your dreams in?”
I have answered these and similar questions so often over the past 30 years that I sometimes find it hard to give serious answers. I have to admit that occasionally, if I’m feeling particularly mischievous, or bored, I invent a new story.
Inevitably somebody will ask: “After all these years living here do you feel more Dutch or English?” Now that is a difficult question to answer.

An English politician once said that you can tell how far an immigrant has truly integrated by which national cricket or football team he cheers for. Well, for me cricket is slightly less interesting than watching grass grow and my interest in football has declined to almost nothing over the years. Despite this we do invite friends around to watch television whenever England and Holland play each other at football, but usually I'm so busy with the catering that I forget to cheer!

In many countries potential immigrants have to take a citizenship test, a list of questions designed to see how much they understand the society and culture of their intended new homeland. I once downloaded and completed a version of the Dutch citizenship test. I failed! But so did half of my Dutch friends. However a trip to England , for me, is like a trip through time. I find myself in familiar surroundings but surrounded by unfamiliar objects. England has changed, and so have I.

I speak Dutch with a foreign accent.

When speaking English I now have a slight Dutch accent.
My Dutch friends still joke about me being English. My English friends think of me as a foreigner.
I like the directness of the Dutch when it isn’t an excuse for rudeness. I like English politeness when it isn’t an excuse for avoiding the issue. I find England scruffy and untidy and Holland over regulated. England has beautiful hills and valleys, Holland has magnificent skies and seascapes. I prefer English language books, films, and music but completely new subjects and experiences are often easier for me to talk about in Dutch.
I like Dutch beer and English cheese
I never really liked tea with milk, the favourite English drink.
I can, and do, drink coffee all day long, a Dutch habit.

So how do I answer the question?

An American who had lived more than half of her life in England was asked a similar question on the radio. My answer is based on her reply which summed up my feelings perfectly:

“I haven’t become Dutch but I am no longer English.”