Back On The Road Again

Back on the Road Again

While this autumn various friends drove around Greece, cooked in the south of France, cruised on the Rhine or hiked in Holland, I booked an all-inclusive-total-hip-replacement- tour just a short drive away from where I live. This two day package included food, accommodation AND a brand new, shiny hip prosthesis. Alcoholic drinks were not included but there were more drugs than you could wish for but maybe not the drugs that you would wish for!

We arrived early on a cold, dark, rainy, windy morning, the hospital was barely awake. I checked in at the reception and was shown to my room. In no time I was clothed in a ritual costume consisting of a back to front jacket and a pair of, what I can only call, lace panties! This was the point when Yvonne thought that it was time for her to leave!

Before long I was wheeled off in the direction of the operating room, stopping on the way to get some wires and stuff attached and have a large, over-sized hair- net added to my costume so that I now looked really cool!? In the OR a group of people wearing blue burka-like robes were  clustered around their bearded leader, for a moment I thought I'd crashed a 'Where Smurfs meet Islam' theme party. It all looked friendly and innocent enough but, as we all know, looks can be deceptive. After a short jovial chat with Ayatollah Smurf and half way through an amusing exchange in English with Expat Smurf everything went black.

I awoke,feeling every bit like I'd just been on the mother-of-all stag nights, in a different and unknown place, in pain, sliced, bruised, battered, disorientated, dehydrated, nauseous and having no recollection of what had happened the last few hours or how I got there.

I won't go on to tell you what indignities and unpleasantness followed. I will only say that a free ice lolly in the recovery area and an evening stroll down the corridor with a student nurse were not adequate compensation!

Ah well, that was just over a week ago, I was discharged early the next day, I feel fine, and to be honest I have only praise and appreciation for the hospital staff. Even though it was more or less a conveyor belt system, with up to 40 operations on some days, despite the ever changing stream of patients in various stages of preparation or recovery, they managed to be efficient, helpful, polite, friendly and all done with a personal touch. 

In little more than a week my recovery is at least on schedule maybe even better but there is still a way to go. I can walk around quite easily, although I have to use crutches, and any pains or discomforts are bearable. However at this relatively early stage of the  six week process daily life is a jumble of contradictions. I have plenty of time but can't really use it. 

I am not sick but there are a whole lot of things I can't do or places I can't go. I am restless but my movements are slow and deliberate. I'm really grateful for my partner's help but wish she didn't have to give it.

I am, surprisingly, patient with the step by step rehabilitation but I'm longing for it to be over and done with.

In the cellar below our apartment building there are three bicycles, a racing bike, a mountain bike and an antique cyclo-cross model all cleaned, oiled-up and ready to go but it'll be another five weeks before I'll be allowed to go out and play. There will still be some people out there asking themselves what this old guy with two hip replacements is going on about? He should be pottering around in a garden shed not racing around the countryside on bikes! Others know better. I´m just not ready for a gentle bike ride, a leisurely walk in the park or a cruise on the Rhine. I am still seeking new and different physical challenges. Okay, the bar is set somewhat lower, the aims more modest and to be honest some things that used to come easily even up until a few years ago have become a bit of a challenge.

 However,it's not all about performance. I enjoy searching for and discovering new trails and tracks.....

…...but the truth is that I'll just be glad to be back on the road again ….even if it's only because the beer taste better after a strenuous bike ride