Three
Weddings and a Funeral
It's been a little longer than usual since my last column.
Each time I started a new one it was out of date almost before I got to the second sentence. Ah well, at least the title has remained the same.
The
funeral has already taken place, it was an emotional affair, there
was a lot of kissing, hugging and hand-shaking going on.
That was when kissing,
hugging and shaking hands was still allowed .
I
was going to write about funeral rituals, gestures and
symbolism but after a heated discussion on the subject, not for the
first time, with my partner I decided not to. Of course, at such
times, the subject cannot be completely avoided. It came up during a
conversation with a dinner guest.
Do
you remember dinner guests? We had one but it was way back in early
March 2020 BC (BC = Before Corona).
Suddeny
during a conversation involving different cultural attitudes to
death, catholic symbolism, British reluctance to show feelings in
public and some clichés like 'death being part of living', our
visitor ask me “Are you afraid of dying”?
I can't remember my
answer but, yes, of course I am. That's why I take care crossing
roads and wear a helmet when doing anything remotely dangerous.
I
was intending to go on to share my views on marriage with you. That it's no
business of the state, religion or the neighbours who you live with
or sleep with, well, unless you are sleeping with one of the
neighbours...
Sleeping
with neighbours may well allowed but only if there is 1.5 metres of space between you.
...but
after a heated disscussion on the subject, not for the first time,
with my partner I decided not to.
However,
the subject can't be avoided completly especially when the three weddings
have very much influenced our travel plans for this year. It did
come up, during a conversation with a dinner guest.
Yes,
the same dinner guest, well there haven't been any since then. Locked down, locked in, locked out!
We
noted that most cultures have some sort of marriage ritual which
originally allowed young people to set up home together and start
making babies. Well, making babies was not only allowed, it was expected and actively encouraged. Baby- making activities were not supposed to
go on before the marriage ceremony. I proposed that, certainly in western
society, people can and do, live, sleep and eat together, at least
part-time, long before they get around to signing papers or making
ritual promises. Therefore, I suggested, marriage is outdated. My
companions argued, on the other hand, it is a good reason to give a
party, there is romance involved and there can be good legal and
financial reasons for getting married. Fair enough, I thought, and
anyway I was outnumbered! It was time to move on to another subject
but our guest added one more point: marriage, she stated, was
desirable because, at least here in The Netherlands, divorce is so well
regulated. Now I accept that some people get married for purely legal reasons,
mostly to do with taxes and inheritance, but I really don't think any
proposal ever went: “Darling, shall we get married it will make
breaking up so much easier”!
It is advised against but you are allowed to have up to three guests in your home as long as they all keep the prescribed distance between them all the time!
It is advised against but you are allowed to have up to three guests in your home as long as they all keep the prescribed distance between them all the time!
Now that may just be possible if you live in a palace or mansion but pretty much impossible if you don't. It looks like it's going to be quite a while before we are again sitting around a table, with good friends, good food, maybe just too much wine, discussing birth, death, marriage, relationships, politics, sport, the best route from here to Poland, the best way peel an avocado or just exchanging tall stories.
*
BC = Before Corona
