It's a Long and Dusty Road...

It's a Long and a Dusty Road....

 

So ….Corona rules willing I'll soon be heading for Romania. Taking my gravel bike, guitar and Yvonne with me. Well I have to take Yvonne along, she has the car...and the driving license!

 

Some of you may be asking what is a gravel bike?

 

I'll try to explain. There are, when it comes to cycling as a sport rather than as a means of transport, various categories of bicycle. A  racing bike, is lightweight, aerodynamic, has fragile looking wheels and curved or 'dropped' handlebars They are designed for cycling on roads These are the bikes you will see on TV during the coverage of the Tour de France.  A close relative is the cyclo-cross bike, adapted but not really designed for riding over muddy and sandy circuits in a sport created before the invention of the mountain bike. You will  be familiar with mountain bikes, they have robust frames, straight handlebars, wide wheels, chunky tires and they are designed to ride cross-country. Then there are 'randonneur', globetrotter, or trekking bikes. Sturdy bikes, purpose built for long distance bicycle touring. Earlier versions like the ones a sponsor provided for us many years ago for a trip around North America had racing handlebars. Later models had straight bars or curiously shaped ones, some vaguely resembling deer antlers or spaghetti loops..  

Anyway –  if you take the main characteristics of all the above mentioned bikes, put them in a cauldron, stir a little and say the magic word, the result will be a gravel bike!  And, to be honest,  that's what the original gravel bikes looked like: a mixture of clever engineering, fantasy and advanced plumbing!

Gravel racing started in Australia or America, where there are a lot of long dirt roads, and soon spread to the rest of the world. Before long the manufacturers realised there was money to be made. Now they all have one or more gravel bikes in their collections. Some are not so very different from racing or cyclocross models except they allow for wider wheels and tyres. While at the other end of the spectrum the bikes are more closely related to the globetrotting concept, sometimes advertised as 'adventure bikes'.

Humans seem to have a compulsion to divide people into two opposing groups. Gravel riding is no exception here it's 

Lycra versus Baggy!

The Lycra group are likely to ride bikes that most closely resemble racing bikes, wear tight fitting bike gear and chose routes that are mainly over asphalt with unpaved or partially paved sections. The Baggy riders wear, as the name suggests, wide loose-fitting clothing.  Baggy fundamentalist will wear lumberjack shirts, have  tin cups hanging from their saddle and a bottle opener welded to the bike frame! Baggies are generally more adventurous and they prefer craft beer to sports drinks.

But of course, most people will be somewhere between the two extremes and that's where I am.... slap- bang in the middle!

With a cupboard full of Lycra I'm not about to throw it all out now. When it came to buying a new bike however I was tempted by bikes at both ends of the gravel spectrum. Eventually, with the help of a local alternative bike shop, I built up a bike. However my choice was for something 'a bit different' rather than for fashion or speed! I don't think the 'Lycra Lads' are very impressed with the end result but , it turns out, the bike frame has a bit of a cult status with, and is much admired by,  the 'Baggy Boys'!

 

Despite the fact that gravel has become so much of a hype in bikeland and that I’d rather never use the word gravel again  my favourite cycling environment is a dusty place somewhere between the road and country. And I've been doing it for years! At home and abroad, in countries where most of the roads are unsurfaced!  It’s true that I don’t have the skills or courage for the more extreme kinds of mountain biking but even on the racing bike I have always preferred more remote, demanding and often less well maintained roads. At my age it’s strange to find myself caught up in the latest trend but on the other hand, in a way, the trend has just caught up with me!!!

  

It Ain't Over 'til it's Over

 

It Ain’t Over ‘til it’s Over

 

During a chance meeting with Paul last week I mentioned that I was about to start on a new column. "Not about Corona I hope", he thought the subject was getting to be monotonous, tedious and/or stale, depending on how I choose to translate the words he actually used.

Oops!

I hurried home to my archives and was relieved to find that I hadn’t written anything directly or exclusively about Corona since June last year. On the other hand, I must admit that Corona has been either the starting point or background for most things I've written since then and also an inspiration for many cartoons. This column is not only but also a reflection of life in the Netherlands so it could hardly be otherwise. It's not just the illness itself, all the measures, precautions and side effects have a great impact on all aspects of our daily lives. A friend recently remarked that she couldn't remember what we used to talk about before Corona. Well as it happens I can!  It was Brexit. Being British and living in The Netherlands discussions about Brexit were frequent, repetitive and unavoidable. To be honest when Covid-19 first arrived I was just pleased to be able to change the subject!

The Corona crisis started here with an 'intelligent lockdown', something between the British 'no need to worry it's not much worse than a regular 'flu' attitude and the strict and complete lockdown some countries went for. It was to last for three weeks. I predicted that it would go on for much longer but that's nothing to boast about, I was thinking in terms of several weeks or maybe a  month or two. I  don't think anybody thought that the pandemic would still be an ongoing and dominant factor in our lives well over a year later.

Among the  thing we have learned is that there are more immunologists, virologists and epidemiologists than we could possibly have imagined. Since the very beginning they have been appearing almost non-stop on current affair programmes and chat shows, some have achieved celebrity status! There was/is plenty to discuss and speculate about: how serious the virus was and how long the crisis would go on for.  Later about the best precautions, the best treatments, hospital/intensive care capacity and the impact on society, education, mental health and the economy.

At some point, much later than in other countries, the great face mask debate exploded. A tiny piece of textile became an hot item. The scientists agreed that the protection provided by surgical face coverings wasn’t great compared to other precautions. Some thought ‘why bother with them then’?  while an increasing number of people thought ‘every little helps’. Other arguments were more about behaviour: the wearing of masks, some said,  would give a signal that the situation needed to be taken (more) seriously. Others, including the government, thought that wearing masks would give people a false sense of security.

Now we wear masks when and where we have too. We've got used to them. Few people complain. I haven't had even a common cold for more than a year but whether that’s due to masks or the other measures like not hugging, kissing and going to parties, it’s hard to tell. We’ll probably never know.  

So -  let's fast forward, through all the various phases of lockdown, the opening and closing of shops,  restaurants and international borders...oh, and some other stuff like royal and political scandals,  elections, revolutions, train crashes, earthquakes and genocide. A second, or was it third, Corona wave demanded a new and stricter lockdown. 'Curfew' was the new flavour of the month on the chat shows and in private conversations. The arguments were remarkably similar to the surgical mask debate and, in the end, we had a curfew, we got used to it and few people complained.

Fast forward again.. despite some resistance the restrictions are being slowly eased, the curfew has been lifted and the vaccination programme has started. Discussion revolves around the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine, the manufacture and supply of the vaccine, who should be vaccinated first and should there be a vaccination passport? Privately conversations are about who has been vaccinated, which vaccine, when and where – oh - and “Does it hurt”?   While people here are worried about their summer holidays and wondering if they should book their package holiday to Ibiza I heard from a friend in Phnom Penh, they are in lockdown after their very first Corona outbreak in February, they've just started! People in India and Brazil are dying in their millions! 

Tedious Paul, yes, monotonous, yes that too, but unfortunately Covid is not yet stale news. This show still has a long way to run..

 …but I hate to end on a gloomy note. 

I’m not quite sure why but this news item last week cheered me up: 

I heard that the Union des Oenologues de France, the Union of French wine tasters, are lobbying for priority status in the French vaccination campaign...

 Santé

Not Staying In, Not Going Out - Part 2

 

Not Staying In, Not Going Out –  Part 2

 

Not Going Out

Well... it's almost the anniversary of the first Corona lockdown here in The Netherlands but I don't think many of us will be out on the streets celebrating. Anyway celebrating is not allowed and definitely not after the nine o'clock evening curfew! This last year, as I mentioned in my previous column, we have been allowed outdoors for exercise but, as nearly everything has been closed for at least part of that time, we have also had to find ways to entertain ourselves indoors. Anyway not everybody likes outdoor activities and sometimes it rains!

Reading, Netflix and redecorating seem to have become very popular. Along with jigsaw puzzles! I've never quite seen the point of these puzzles... I mean.. you've got the picture, it's there on the box!

Also there is a renewed interest in arts and crafts. Handwork of all sorts; knitting, ,sewing, embroidery, crocheting and so on. Many people I know have taken up painting. It is in the nature of things that many of these new, or born-again, painters will start explaining to me the pleasures of painting and drawing. It is in the nature of the Dutch character that soon some will be telling me what I should be doing and what I've been doing wrong all these years. Okay, perhaps I am being a little unfair, at times some have asked for advice.  

After training to be a civil engineer I went to a teachers training college to study teaching art. In the first year we had a go at everything. I discovered I had some talent for all the various disciplines. However I found painting, and especially oil painting, the least interesting and not just because I hated cleaning the brushes afterwards! I also learned at some point that I didn't really want to be a teacher. My career as a 'starving artist' was about to begin. What painting I did involved spray cans and enamel paint. Slowly after several years and many phases I evolved into a cartoonist. A cartoonist is a combination of draughtsman, writer, storyteller and/or journalist. Times have changed but until quite recently cartoonist were not considered to be 'proper' artists! So, any advice I could give may not be a lot of help to the potential painters among you.

Ah - but the two most frequently asked questions are not about technique, they are: 

1. How long does it take?  2. Where do my ideas come from?  I don't have a satisfactory answer to either of these questions.

I can give you an indication of what is involved. For example I have worked regularly for  trade magazines, if I'm lucky, I'll have about three days to produce a cartoon based on an article or news items I've been sent. I'll be scribbling ideas and making primitive sketches while reading the texts. These early ideas I'll store in my mind, then at least I have something, in case I can't come up with anything better. Sometimes I will have the idea almost at once, this will speed up the process greatly. However there are also times when nothing comes to me in the first instance. My mood is desperate as I explain to Yvonne, my partner, that this time I really am stuck, that I have no ideas, I don't understand the subject and there is absolutely no way I'll  get the cartoon done in time!  “Oh” she replies, showing little sympathy, “you'll think of something, you always do”...and she's right. There may be a lot of muttering, pacing up and down and a fair amount of coffee on the way, and I may well be working on one or more other things at the same time, but I will eventually find the clue!

Then the idea has to been transferred to paper. 

        

The first pencil sketch... 

... with the help of a light box a line drawing is traced based on the sketch... 

        

 

...back to the drawing board... where parts are coloured and lines accentuated by hand...

 

...then it's scanned into the computer...'cleaned up', maybe altered a little, mistakes corrected and the remaining areas coloured in digitally...

                 

                       
 ...the text is added... deadline met...and it's time for a beer! 

                  

Oh, but sorry, I nearly forgot the second question: where do the ideas come from?

I can't really help you there. All I can do is repeat a comment Yvonne once made and which became the punchline to one of my earliest columns:

“You have a twisted mind” she said!!!!

 

Not Staying In, Not Going Out - Part 1

Not Staying In, Not Going Out –  Part 1 

 

Not Staying In 

 

Multiple anti-coronavirus vaccines have been developed..... Hurrah! 

We're stuck in the strictest lockdown since the crisis began.....Boo! 

That sums up the current status here in The Netherlands. 

 

Luckily throughout the whole Corona period we have been allowed to play outside. Sports clubs and sporting facilities have been closed and organised sports banned for most of us but individual excercise outdoors, subject to the frequently changing restrictions, are okay. Those who would usually be taking part in other sports , who have more time on there hands or just need to get out for while have joined the regulars, running, cycling and walking. Bike and sportswear shops can barely keep up with the demand. It's easy to spot the new kids on the block. They either have shiny new bicycles or they are riding antique models rescued from their dad's garage. Likewise the runners are wearing the trendiest and cleanest running gear or baggy shorts with a top and shoes they had purchased years ago when on an impulse they had signed up for tennis lessons.   

But this is just the tip of the iceberg!  You can add to this a mass of people, whole families of city dwellers, who unable to visit shopping malls or garden centres, have decided to give  nature a try. These are also easy to spot; fashionable rather than functional clothing, small boys carrying redundant footballs and little girls with pink scooters that don't work on the soft and sandy paths.  

This all puts a great deal of pressure on the available natural open spaces in this small and relatively densely populated country. The government have advised people to 'drive a little further' in order to avoid  congestion at well known hot spots like the woods close to where I live. Quite a few follow the advice. So not only are there more people, they are now spread over a greater area. Causing some problems where there is no infrastructure to cope with the extra visitors and some friction with and between the hikers, bikers and nature lovers who already frequent these places to avoid the greater public.  

 

Early last year riding across a favourite heath on a sunny Sunday during an otherwise grey, wet and windy period I was surprised so to see so many people. Not for the first time a dog-walker growled loudly and angrily at me as I passed. I had previously decided that the next time this happened I would stop for a calm chat. I stopped but the man was far from calm and obviously was not in the mood for a chat of any kind. He launched into a long tirade at the end of which, as he reached boiling point, he said that we (I was alone) should bugger off and take my bike with me!!    

Now , I would have replied that I've been coming here for more than 25 years which was almost certainly longer than he  had. That I had even lived at the corner of the nature park for a while. That, if I had known that it would be so busy, I would have chosen another route. I would have pointed out that although there are anti-social mountain bikers and dog-owners, the most are not.  If I had met him a little later in the day I could also have remarked that everybody else I saw that day, hikers, bikers, dog-owners, pram-pushers and horse riders, were all friendly and quite happy to share the sunshine and the limited countryside we have.  

I would have liked to have explained that the world would be a much better place if we all learned to get on with each other, runners, walkers, mountain  bikers, horse riders, people who think differently, have different skin colours, cultural backgrounds, religions and sexual orientations. Whether we like it or not other people, and groups of people, exist and they are not about to go away. Why not just accept the fact and get on with life!

However I didn't say any of the above. His face was getting redder and redder. I was afraid he might at any minute burst or have a heart attack. Not that him having a heart attack itself would have worried me very much but I would have felt obliged to help him and that  really would have pissed me off!! 

  

Brexiled

Brexiled

Friday about a week ago a courier called.

He asked me to repeat the number on my passport and sign a receipt.

In exchange he gave me a small piece of plastic issued by the Dutch Immigration and Naturalisation Department (IND). Not very exciting but it was worth a very small sigh of relief and a larger sigh of resignation. It had been a long time coming and should not have been neccessary at all. However there came a time during the bumbling, stumbling, and at times farcical Brexit saga that I realized doing nothing was not the best option to safeguard my status here in The Netherlands.

I would have to consider the other possibilities. I had already inquired about obtaining a Dutch passport, I qualified and my documentation was in order, however I discovered that I was reluctant to give up my British citizenship and become a Dutch national although I didn't feel strongly about either. The main reason for my reluctance was not the choices but the fact that, through no fault of my own, I was being forced to consider the need to make a choice. Anyway a change of nationality just didn't feel right. Why? I don't really know. That's the trouble with feelings.

Maybe it's easier to think about what would feel right?

Well, the very first passports were issued by cities, I think I would have been quite happy with that. In common with many people living in a foreign country I have a greater affinity with the place where I live than with the country as a whole. At the other end of the scale, as a Brit living in The Netherlands, just a couple of hours drive to France or Germany and a 15 minute bike ride to Belgium, if I ride slowly, I am a European and I feel European. There was, and still is, a movement to allow Brexpats like me to become individual European citizens with a passport issued by the EU. Now, if that ever happens I'd jump at the opportunity!

Anyway I studied all the options, made my choice, filled in the forms and paid the fees...

...and that's when Covid-19 came to town!

For a short time all their offices were closed, then the IND would send me regular reminders by post that I should register my biometrics, in person, within two weeks. At the same time that they informed me online that the desks were only open for urgent business and that my business was not considered urgent. When they did eventually open again for less important matters it was no easy task to make an appointment. They were open for limited periods, for a limited number of people and they had a huge backlog. I still had a slight hope that I'd be away for most of September which didn't help. The first available date and place that suited both the IND and myself was two months later in Rotterdam. By that time the second Corona wave was a fact, the city of Rotterdam was Code Red, only to be visited for essential business. So along with all the other costs and inconvenience Brexit had caused me, now I had to risk my life in a Corona hot spot! As it turned out it couldn't have been much safer. The the normally bustling station and city centre were almost deserted. The shops, restaurants and cafés were all open but empty. Even though it was midday in the middle of the week it was hard to find anybody to social distance myself from! I was processed, fingerprinted, photographed and registered in about five minutes and was soon on my way back home in my private Intercity train.

The piece of plastic, decorated with a picture of me looking like a recently arrested criminal, was a 'Permanent Residence Permit'. That's what I chose in the end. Why? Well, it was relatively cheap, a special cut-price offer for Brexpats,  and it doesn't involve swearing an oath of allegiance to King and Country. Taking on a new nationality would have. Okay, it's a formality, you just have to get the words right but even so... I'm not sure I could swear allegiance to anything or anybody with any degree of sincerity or a straight face...

So that's my status in The Netherlands dealt with..

but what about my relationship with the United Kingdom of Great Britain?

Well it was a close thing but we are not divorced.

We will, however, continue living apart

and the chances of us getting back together again are not great.

Extra:   https://youtu.be/3EGn9-tVXSE